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He says he cares deeply for me and is sorry for hurting me but does not seem remorseful for what he has done.He said he was always the giver and now he was doing something for himself.He immerses himself in work and chores to avoid personal daytime together and is not totally himself when we are together. He said he had not been in contact with her for the last 6 months ( I don’t know if this is true or not especially as he has lied before) and he recently told me two weeks after the second time he finished with her he went to see her and they slept together before telling her he had to work on his marriage so he if he did leave it would be with a clear conscience that he had tried everything properly. We did start talking a few weeks ago and we ended up ‘agreeing’ he needed space so I came back to UK which was 2 weeks ago.
He has not totally committed to making the marriage work as he won’t let me in.
The affair started 18 months ago and he has left her and come home twice and even took a job abroad to try on our marriage but then he said he can not stop thinking about her and the last time he was happy was when he was with her.
He admits he felt valued and admired and important when he was with her and I know I needed to do that. Due to his job, if we separated properly or divorce I loose everything. I gave everything up for him and we had a great ‘perfect ‘family unit but it has been hell for 18 months. I was outgoing, lively, very flirty which was also a factor that emasculated him and I did cross the line a few times but he knows and says he forgave me.
He has had a few inappropriate relationships as well where it appears in our unhappy times we looked for others to make us feel good instead of confronting the issues.
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